I LOVE ME SOME HIM

Heeey! Hoooh! Heeey! Hoooh! It's Friday! TGIF. So, as you probably already predicted, I'm going home again. My uncle came in last night so I'm going to ride home with him today, then fly back to Dallas. I'm pretty excited...I get to see my mama! Plus, my best friend is singing her first solo at her church on Sunday, so I want to make sure I don't miss it...

So I know ya'll saw Mr. Barack Obama last night. Ain't he fine as hell?! Don't play, I know I wasn't the only one looking. I mean, that man is the straight up business. Michelle was very beautiful too, as always. They just make such a perfect couple. So much love and support...it's sick! His speech was tear jerking, for real. He said what he meant, and he meant what he said. Didn't sugar coat anything for anybody. I mean, I don't know how any human being could be able to watch that speech and not feel the compassion, love, and proudness this man possesses for our country. If you couldn't feel that, something is wrong with yo ass. He is the epitome of what a black Christian, father, husband, role-model, and citizen should be. He literally wears his heart on his sleeve. He exudes the qualities, dedication, confidence, class, and passion that all Presidents should have, or should've had. And to put the icing on the cake, he's making HISTORY all the while. Showing little black children that they too can do whatever they feel they are destined to do. Making our ancestors proud! Therefore, Mr. Barack Obama, you have my vote in the bank because you did that! Sitcho ass down Mc Cain!

The UNKNOWN

Sometimes I would cry and have no clue as to why.
My heart ached from the unknown pain I felt inside.
I wondered where it was coming from?
I was oh so confused.
How could I feel so much sorrow,
When there was really no feelings at all?
People portrayed me as a happy cheerful person,
But in my heart, I knew I wasn't.
I put on a face that was all fake.
Hiding behind the true depressed soul,
That was deep within me waiting to be set free.
Free from the unknown pain and sorrow that comes from A.......PLACE.....CALLED.....NOWHERE.
I felt like I was trapped inside of my own self.
I couldn't breathe with all those feelings and emotions.
One minute I'd be sad, the next minute happy,
Then mad, then cheery, but never any consistancy.
So in order 4 me to survive and set myself free,
I had to escape from the unknown pain that lived within me.

Kroger's

Ya'll know ya'll wrong for selling me that spoiled ass chicken! Ya'll knew that shit wasn't good, that's why ya'll had it on "Manager's Special"! So, I'm putting ya'll on blast right now. People, if you shop at Kroger's, DO NOT BUY MEAT! Especially, the "manager's special". That ain't no damn special, that's an illness in disguise. Now, I ain't saying all the Kroger's have bad meat, I'm just sayin, check that shit first! Especially in the DFW area. I'm so dissapointed in Kroger's. I was gonna do all my grocery shopping there since it's literally up the street. Well, ya'll can sit ya'll asses down now, cause that shit will not be happening. Ya'll just lost a new customer....Let's get it together!

quote

our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become...

BURL

I really miss my little brother. He's been heavily on my mind lately and before I relocated to Dallas, I didn't really make it my business to see him much, but I guess I just took that opportunity for granted. He isn't my biological brother, but the love I possess for him seems as that of someone genetically connected to me. He's 4 years younger than I am and when I first met him, I didn't really like him at all...matter of a fact, I loathingly envied him. Only at first though. My mama would go out of her way for him and he didn't really seem to appreciate it at all. He would act out, fight, run away...man, he was bad as hell! So, I was like, who the hell is he to come up in here and start getting most of the attention that was always directed to me? I mean I was the only child all my life and he didn't come into it until I was maybe 16, so I had a right to feel that way, or at the time I thought I did anyway. Only until I began to understand him as a person and realize all he'd gone through is when I started to accept him and really, genuinely love him. You see, my little brother came from a poverty stricken neighborhood and family. Drugs, violence, neglect, sex, etc. You know, the usual in these types of neighborhoods but for him, it was all up and through his immediate family as well. Although, I grew up around most of these things too, it didn't affect me as much because I was never neglected. I always had love and support from my family. Something my little brother longed for and searched for in the streets. When he entered our home, it took a very long time for him to open up. But, once he did, I began to realize that he wasn't such a bad person after all. He was actually very sensitive at heart. I can remember having to pick him up from his alternative school every day which was about 20 minutes away from where we lived. In the beginning, we wouldn't say all of two words to each other. It was so awkward. But as time progressed, we began to talk more and more each time. We started to play video games together, watch basketball, listen to music, and go places that we normally wouldn't go together if we didn't have to, like the grocery store or whatever the situation was...he'd want to ride with me and I also wanted his company. He was the little brother I never had and it felt really good to be the oldest and not the only for a change. Unfortunately he ended up running the streets more and more and is now incarcerated. Hopefully he'll get his act together once he's out and will realize that he too can live a much healthier lifestyle and not go in the wrong direction because that's how he was brought up. I know he has potential, he'll just have to learn the hard way. If he ever reads this blog, I want him to know that I love him very much and always will. Even if he doesn't read, he knows. That's my brother! BURL is what they call him.

quote

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

unknown

Apartment Blues

FINALLY! I'm all moved in. All that's left to do now is unpack. But you know what? I see now that me and the property staff will not get along very well at all. First of all, why do they have a damn 'out of office' sign up every single time I go there? The first time, I fell for it because they could very well be out showing property or something, but then, after a few more times, I said to myself "what the hell?!" I know they asses can't be this busy all the damn time. So, I go back and sure enough that big ass sign is up again. You know I'm pissed at this point, because I need to move my shit! Just give me my fucking key so I can move because at this point, I wanna fuck you up right now cause you playing with my emotions....I know that ain't too much to ask. Once I saw that sign, I creeped around the bushes on they asses and looked through the windows of the break room. How about every single person working in that office was in there chilling like they in the comfort of their own fucking home. WTF!!!! Laughing and giggling and just livin la vida loca! Get your lazy ass up and do your job, or I'm gonna bust a move on some damn body! This don't make no damn sense what-so-ever. Please excuse my french, but I do believe you agreed to and were aware of the content of this blog before entering.

Anyway, I get my key and all is going well as I'm moving, until I did the walk-thru. Uh, where's the hot water? Why are all these fucking holes in my walls? And I thought I moved out of Cedar Terrace a long time ago...what's up with this refrigerator? That ain't no refrigerator, that's definitely an ICE BOX! And on top of that, I got a nosey ass neighbor downstairs from me. Everytime I come outside I see her ass either peeping through the door or outside sweeping nothing but air. Don't shit be on that ground, so why the hell do you feel the need to bring your big head ass outside trying to be all up in my business. Sitcho ass down! PLEASE! Let me see, what else? I think that's it for now. My hot water finally did start to work, but this better not be an ongoing problem, or else all hell is gonna break loose. I'll give an update later as to how these lazy bitches gonna handle these problems. They better it get together or else they will hate me cause I have a feeling I'm gonna stay in they shit. Let's get it right people!

No Fear

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!

Stop whining

People, if you have no job and are making not one attept to get one, please stop whining and complaining about how much you're struggling. Don't get a job then quit the next day because you don't like it. You don't like it because you want to get high and ride around all day. Come on now! Get it together. Or, you'll quit because you feel like you ain't getting paid enough or you aren't "just gonna settle". What the hell do you mean? You don't have a fucking job! Anything is better than zero, so take what you can get and make it work. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I am in no way placing judgments on anyone, I'm merely stating that fact that complacency is not an option (at least not for me, and it shouldn't be for another). On top of that, I care enough about you to even give two fucks about it or I wouldn't waste my time on this blog. Stop saying, "man, I need a job", "man, I'm broke". Then you don't look. Go get a fucking job! The word today is JOB! J.O.B. That's what people do...WORK! Companies will not be ringing your phone off the hook to beg you to work for them when all they gonna get is a bunch of call-ins and excuses. It's funny to me how some as black people always make some rediculous excuse as to why they can't get hired, such as "I have no experience", or "I can't work those hours because the club gonna be crunk". Sitcho ass down! Are you serious? Fuck the club. They aren't going anywhere. Please believe you will not be missing anything...nothing but your opportunity to get the hell out of dodge and make a life for yourself. Don't get me wrong, I like to go out from time to time too, but my life does not revolve around it.
And because I've expressed this to people so much and they don't listen (or get an attitude)... I had to blog about it! I still love 'em though.

A Mother's Love (breathtaking)

I would never let a tear fall from your eye
Cause everything you are to me, ohh I could never let you hurt inside
You mean so much, and I'm so thankful that you're in my life
And I appreciate your love and all of your sacrifice
Without you by my side, I could never survive
I wouldn't be the woman standin' here before your eyes
You taught me strength and you gave me guidance
Whenever faith was lost, you were there to find it
And all because a mother's love is unconditional
With all my heart and all my soul, I wanna let you know
That I thank you, and I love you
And would never place anyone above you
You have given me life, and I just want you to know
That you're the reason I'm here today
I will never let go of everything that we share
And nothing, I mean NOTHING could ever compare
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you, listen to what I'm sayin'
See, I've been blessed to be raised by a woman so strong
Cause even when I did things wrong
You would show me just the way that I should carry on
You kept me safe, and you protected me with all you had
And any time I was in need you always gave your last
Again, without you by my side, I never could survive
And I wouldn't be the woman standing here before your eyes
I remember wakin' up early Monday morning
"Five more minutes" is what I'd mumble
With my new jeans, fresh shirt, and Polo boots with the buckle
I’d drop you off at work, and you’d say “you bet not be late!”
You were always there to take all of my fear away
And when he broke my heart, you said it was his lost
And not to think about, "you are so much better off”
Remember when I didn’t believe that I was ever gonna make it
You said "it's yours, and all you gotta do is go and take it"
So here I am, finding my way, thanking you every step of the way.
My Mama...My heart...A love like no other..Absolutely Breathtaking!

Ashanti

Quote

"God gave people a mouth that closes and ears that don't, which should tell us something."

unknown

Speeding in the Fast Lane...Pedal to tha Flo Mane!

Ok, ok!! So I lied. I really wasn't gonna do anything but stay home and pack this weekend. However, the highway was calling my name and I heard it loud and clear. I guess you could say I packed...packed a suitcase with weekend gear and moved five hours away for the weekend. I wanted my mama! Nonetheless, it always feels good to be back home. My birthday was cool. (shout outs to Meagan, Kennedy, and Malcolm!) The family got together at my uncle's house. (the ultimate party-til-the-cops-come-knockin uncle) We played spades, dominoes, and talked shit...that's how we roll! I didn't end up leaving for Dallas until almost 11:00 last night, got in around 4:45, then had to be to work this morning. So, you already know...ya girl is tired as hell! Still can't really get to much rest cause I gotta pack (for real this time) to move tomorrow. My cousins came back with me so it won't take much time at all.

Man I need a serious edge up! FOR REAL...

Quote

Don't wait until everyting is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.

Mark Victor Hansen

Where are you Friday?

I've decided to stay in Dallas this weekend. Sunday is my birthday, but I'm not doing anything special. Since I'm moving next week, I want to focus on getting packed and moved as soon as possible, plus I don't have extra money for a trip. I will definitely be going to my hometown to see my family for Labor Day. That's best anyway because I'll get to stay for three days instead of two. Don't you hate moving? I do to, that's why I want to hurry up and get it over with.

OK, we have new offices. You'd think that's great wouldn't you? WRONG ANSWER! First of all, our desks look like boards on stilts. Imagine that! They are temporary desks, but we don't get our real furniture until a month from now due to the stupid company's lack of planning. So, I'm working out of boxes, can't find my stuff, and have to deal with people coming in and out wanting me to transform into a tour guide and show them the full build out like it's on display. People, I can't work with all these distractions. Go find some work to do and leave me alone. (that may be mean, but I don't care...it's the truth) On top of that, all the new doors have locks, but nobody left us keys. What kind of damn sense does that make? Not common...that's for damn sure! Anyway, let me stop complaining...some people don't even have a job.

Family Affair

Since I moved away from my family 3 months ago, I've realized how much they ALL mean to me. I've always loved them, but now I understand why family should get 2nd place in life's marathon. (God is the winner of course) Although it comes natural to love family, it's an unexplained love. Unconditional. I love them all equally but in different ways. In addition, I learn from them all. Even the children. When I was younger, I always wanted to be with friends. Some were real friends and some were "frienemys". My term for fake wanna-be friends. A friend and enemy all in one. At the time, I felt like they understood me more and I trusted them but boy was I wrong. I now get the picture and this is how I visualize it. Friends come and go, so does money, clothes, boyfriends & even husbands, etc. But Family is always there. They help no matter how arduous the struggle. They are not fake, they aren't there to benefit themselves, they tell it like it is (keep it 100), and-most importantly-they LOVE. Just the same love you have for them, you better believe they have it for you too. And it's genuine. Friends are important in life as well, but choose them never over your family, but sensibly. Spend more time with your family if you haven't been. Have family cook-outs, reunions, holiday parties, birthday celebrations, or "just because" parties. Always help them when in need and love on them like no other. Now that's the business!

Today's Quote

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created - created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.

Deborah James

To My Unborn Child

Even though I’ve never met you
I miss you oh so much
What is your name?
What do you smell like?
How soft is your touch?
How much do you weigh?
What’s your favorite color?
These questions, I ask everyday
Regret is an understatement
Self hatred may sum it up
Please forgive me, my child
I was just young and dumb
Believe me when I say I love you
And adore you to say the least
My unborn child, you have done nothing wrong
If I could I’d change my mind for your heartbeat.
God spoke to my heart and showed how much it hurts
To see his precious child treated like mere dirt.
So, let’s work together...just you and me.
You be my guide and I’ll speak the words
Let’s show people how painful abortion can really be.
Please don't be scared or feel lonely without me,
Both Grandfather & Great-Grandmother are with you,
They'll always be there until we finally meet.

I love you and will never forget...

Tattoo Turmoil

I'm getting another tattoo. I don't know exactly what I want, but I know it will be in association with My Grandmother. Maybe her name designed really pretty, or an angel with her initials. I don't know yet. I also want to get my deceased uncle's name (existing tattoo) filled in. Not that I don't like how it looks now, I just think it could be a little thicker. People please stop judging others if they have tattoos, or for any other reason. If you were thinking "why is she doing that to her body?" while reading the first few sentences of this blog, then I'm speaking directly to you. I understand if you are opposed to it, but how can you object to it for someone else? I do what works for me, not you, and I'm sure you do the same. I know not to get something that's inappropriate for the work environment and screams "Hey, look at me!" when I walk into a room. For those of you who do have tattoos like that, more power. I, personally wouldn't do it, but as previously mentioned, you do you and I'll do me. So, people can miss me with all the judgements. I do believe that act is for the Man far beyond the skies, and only him so move around...find something else to do with your time. Puh-Leese! My brief conversation with a co-worker about tattoos is my inspiration for this blog.

I digress, any suggestions on a design?

Today's Quote

A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn.

Evaluation

I had my 90 day review on my new job today and, I must say, it went quite well. My boss had great things to say about me and told me I'm doing an excellent job. I didn't get a raise, but that's still a good start. Hopefully there will be greater things to come! I've decided to set personal goals for myself so I can remain a very efficient worker. Otherwise, I'll procrastinate (as I always do) and won't be able to put 100% into each project. We'll see how that works out.
HOLLA!

Bourbon Street

My birthday is this Sunday and I'm not sure what I'm getting into. I wanted to do something as simple as a nice dinner and some drinks. Now, my aunt wants to go to New Orleans (she loves to gamble). I haven't been back there since before Hurricane Katrina and don't really know what to expect. My friends and I used to drive there all the time for the weekend and we'd have "oh so much" fun! Dancing to the catchy beats of the bands, drinking 40 oz. margaritas (or whatever liquor we had), singing and parading down Bourbon Street, and eating that good ol' New Orleans cooking! Man! Those were the days. I love that place, but I'm thinking that if I go now, it won't be the same. I'm thinking I'll go anyway. If I'm with my family, I know I'll have fun regardless.

Rest in Peace...

I see in the news that Bernie Mac has officially passed on. This really saddens me, but I understand that this point has to come for us all. Rest in Peace Mr. Bernie Mac! You are no longer in pain and you're free from this cruel, harsh world. The storm is over for you now so enjoy your new home. My prayers go out to your family. One...

My Favorite Girl

When I'll never again see you to wave hello or goodbye
I know it'll make me sad and make me wanna cry,
When I want to hear your voice and I reach for the phone
I realize you're with GOD on a journey you must travel alone,
When I need your advise so terribly it makes me wanna scream
Please Grandmother, come and talk to me at night while I dream,
Your graciousness and elegance were always maintained
The faith you possessed is what keeps me sustained,
You helped raised me your way to do and say what I feel
May not always be right but it'll always be real,
You were my favorite girl, GOD made you like no other
I know you were put here just to be My Grandmother,
'Lil country girl from Bernice, skinny legs and talkin' sassy
Grew up to be a woman so regal and so classy,
My heart is truly broken, longing for your voice, hug and kiss
Remember watching cooking shows and having evening talks,
All these things I miss,
As I travel everyday my steps seem so, so heavy
I know that I must serve the LORD so I too can be ready,
Grandmother, I really miss you more than words can explain
When I look at the stars tonight I hope to hear you call my name,
I'll shed some tears, I'll love my mom, my family, my daughter, and continue on with life.
The LORD giveth and the LORD taketh, 'cause he took the love of my life.
It's been pretty hard living without you and you knew this would be all along
That's why you make sure I see the clock every morning at 6:22,
The day God called you home.
I'll love you always and forever
I'll remember your smile, warm heart, your beautiful face and your presence.
You, my dear...will forever be in my heart!!!

Fake ass!

Why the hell do people pretend to be something they're not? I don't know either, but they know they need to stop! My ex-boyfriend is a trip...First of all, let me give you a little history. We dated in high school. A lot of people didn't like him in school, but I thought he was cool. We had intellectual conversations, hung out with "the click", went to all the parties...etc. He was on the football team, or should I say he had a football uniform that never got dirty. LOL! I never heard the end of that one from my friends. Anyway, so we dated and he ended up going to the military after graduation, but we decided to keep the relationship going. Everyone knows the military pays good money but it ain't like you rich. This nigga thought he was rich, or he wanted everyone else to think he was rich but I knew better. He talked about how he was building a house from the ground up. (never saw it) He lied and said he paid cash for his car when he knew damn well he had a car note! FAKE! He changed his voice to make it sound like he had a east coast accent. LOL... The first time he came home he didn't want to have anything to do with me. It was all about his homeboys and trying to impress everyone back home. If we went on a date, his homeboys had to come and if they didn't want to go, he didn't either. (sounds kind of gay to me) They even took pictures at Star Shots together! Anyway, all of a sudden he was a member of the CRIPS (in his fantasy world) and was now portraying himself as a hood boy. WTF! Ain't nobody from the hood even know his ass! He was a school boy like a muthafucka. He stopped wearing red and started throwing up gang signs in every picture he took. I'm like get the fuck outta here! You was just in a studio picture standing back to back with your homeboy smiling. Matter of fact, you took more Star Shots than I did and I'm a woman. Yo ass is not gangsta! He wanted so badly to be a crip. If you ask me, that shit ain't the business anyway, but whatever! He painted his car candy blue, and started packing a gun. He even went as far as making up stories like..."man, them niggas trying to jack my shit, I ain't going to sleep tonight". Or, "man I just got shot at...we gonna get them niggas". LMAO! Bitch please! You probably don't even know how to shoot a gun. Fuck around and shoot your damn self. If you're reading this and you know me, you are laughing like a muthafucka right now. How fake can a person get? He's 26 years old now and still acting the same way. Get over it already! Sitcho ass down! You ain't no gangsta, you ain't rich, and you are not the shit! Quit oiling your body down and taking pictures with weights in your hands to put up on myspace. Stop riding your own dick! And know that I'm only putting you on blast because you walk around with your dick in your ass like your shit don't stink...well NEWSFLASH! Not only your shit stinks, but you and your attitude do to, so keep it moving!

holla!

Heavy

Ok, I need to lose weight! It's so hard though. I've tried so many things, but can't seem to stick with it. I know it takes hard work, I just can't seem to get on track and stay there. I need some motivation and willpower. Where does that come from? I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? A close friend of mine is doing a fast. She drinks water all day and if she feels hungry she drinks a protein drink. She eats one meal a day that consists of grilled chicken or fish and all the vegetables she desires. I tried that, but "hated it!". That isn't for me. **sigh** I'm to damn heavy!

holla

The Monique Show

Do ya'll ever listen to http://themoniqueshow.com? If not, check it out. It broadcasts from 2pm til 7pm. You can listen on the radio in certain cities. For those of you that don't know, I'm speaking of Monique from "The Parker's, Charm School, and Queens of Comedy". She has some great topics on the show, keeps it 100% REAL, and she's hilarious with it. I mean off the chain! At the same time, she knows how to turn the comedy on and off according to what's being said. Anyway, check it out...It's the business.

Lost and Found

I worked 2 hours past normal quitting time yesterday, so I came in late to work so I could take care of some personal business, or at least try. OK, so I go to the bank to purchase a money order for the new apartment I'm trying to occupy. BANK CLOSED UNTIL 9:00am. Big as day on the signs. It's now 8:00, so I said to myself, "OK, hang out until they open". Went to the book store and broused around. Didn't really find anything worth buying. By this time, it's 8:45, so I head back to the bank. Go to open the doors...still locked. I'm looking at them, they looking at me like "bitch we ain't open!". How about they didn't open the fucking doors until 9:20! I'm now pissed off. Who the fuck does that shit? I have to be to work by 10:00. I don't have time to go to the damn apartment complex now, fucking with Bank of America! By this time I'm starving so I go to Chic-fil-A and grab a chicken biscuit. DELI-C-OSO! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEIR HONEY ROASTED BAR-B-QUE SAUCE! Tha bomb diggity. But, why can't ya'll give me more than one sauce (Mr. and Mrs. Chic-Fil-A)? It's just some damn sauce! Get the fuck outta dodge. The window at Chic-Fil-A ain't that damn important for you to be arguing with me about some bitch ass sauce. Anyway, I get to my parking spot at work and my phone says, "FIND ME!". "What the hell!? I know I just talked on my phone" No phone NO WHERE! I'm like damn, I had to have left it in the bank. I'm so damn absent minded, it's ridiculous. Anyway, I come to my desk and try to find the phone number by looking up the location I went to. Who the hell has 20 different Bank of America locations in one area?! Who does that?! They had locations I've never even heard of. I know the name of the street I went to, but I still couldn't seem to find the location and phone number! WTF! Somebody finally found it for me and sent me the contact info. So, of course I call and....CAN'T SPEAK TO A REAL FUCKING PERSON! I hate those automated voices. Those bitches need to be fired. Point blank...period! I need a real human fucking being to speak with...shit! Is that really to hard for you Bank of America?! I'm just trying to locate my phone so I can have some type of communication and these bitches want me to push 1 for English and listen to the damn menu. Fuck that! I guess I'll go there on my lunch break and ask "HUMAN FLESH" since I can't seem to get them on the phone. Lunch time comes, I go to my car and low and behold! MY PHONE IS ON THE MUTHAFUCKIN FLOOR IN THE BACK SEAT vibrating and beeping all out of control. You know I'm pissed...Ya'll still need some real people on the phone Bank of Fuckin America! Ok, that's all i got for now...just a little (maybe too much) venting.
HOLLA!!!

i ain't scared of you muthacuckas...my boy!

Ok, why the hell do people take it upon themselves to start rumors about others? WHY?!?! I can't stand when people start running their mouthes and have no understanding as to what is going on. If you hear something and are not sure if it has any truth to it, please keep your mouth shut. Bernie Mac is not dead! You'd think a situation as sensitive and as serious as death would make people stop with all the bullshit, but I guess not. Show that man and his family the same respect that you'd want in return if that were you. Don't get me started! I ain't scared of you muthafuckas!

Getting back serious, my prayers go out Bernie Mac and his family. Get well soon.
Holla

New to Me

Wow! I never in a million years thought I'd be blogging. I don't even like to write much. Here lately, I've been reading lots of blogs and listening to vlogs (shout outs to Jia-TV!) and I love it! This will be an outlet for me, as I suffer with Social Anxiety Disorder. Diary of a Shy Black Woman inspired me...so KUDOS to you chic! I'm in a new city, no family...no friends...nobody. It's quite scary and lonely. I've expanded my horizons because in all actuality, I was never going to prosper in the small town I'm originally from. I believe my move (5 hours away), which was dreadfully difficult, gave me hope to kick anxiety in the ass and finally overcome it. Why do you ask? Because a part of me was not proud of myself and what I was doing. I have no college degree and had a dead end job. Although my job provided a great contribution to Breast Cancer Research, I felt as if I wasn't doing enough and wasn't worthy. With my new life and job (which provides full tuition reimbursement), I feel more confident. Don't get me wrong...I do have bad days! But, for the most part, I'm beginning to love life more and more. I'd love to get some suggestions on techniques I could possibly use to overcome social anxiety completely.