BURL

I really miss my little brother. He's been heavily on my mind lately and before I relocated to Dallas, I didn't really make it my business to see him much, but I guess I just took that opportunity for granted. He isn't my biological brother, but the love I possess for him seems as that of someone genetically connected to me. He's 4 years younger than I am and when I first met him, I didn't really like him at all...matter of a fact, I loathingly envied him. Only at first though. My mama would go out of her way for him and he didn't really seem to appreciate it at all. He would act out, fight, run away...man, he was bad as hell! So, I was like, who the hell is he to come up in here and start getting most of the attention that was always directed to me? I mean I was the only child all my life and he didn't come into it until I was maybe 16, so I had a right to feel that way, or at the time I thought I did anyway. Only until I began to understand him as a person and realize all he'd gone through is when I started to accept him and really, genuinely love him. You see, my little brother came from a poverty stricken neighborhood and family. Drugs, violence, neglect, sex, etc. You know, the usual in these types of neighborhoods but for him, it was all up and through his immediate family as well. Although, I grew up around most of these things too, it didn't affect me as much because I was never neglected. I always had love and support from my family. Something my little brother longed for and searched for in the streets. When he entered our home, it took a very long time for him to open up. But, once he did, I began to realize that he wasn't such a bad person after all. He was actually very sensitive at heart. I can remember having to pick him up from his alternative school every day which was about 20 minutes away from where we lived. In the beginning, we wouldn't say all of two words to each other. It was so awkward. But as time progressed, we began to talk more and more each time. We started to play video games together, watch basketball, listen to music, and go places that we normally wouldn't go together if we didn't have to, like the grocery store or whatever the situation was...he'd want to ride with me and I also wanted his company. He was the little brother I never had and it felt really good to be the oldest and not the only for a change. Unfortunately he ended up running the streets more and more and is now incarcerated. Hopefully he'll get his act together once he's out and will realize that he too can live a much healthier lifestyle and not go in the wrong direction because that's how he was brought up. I know he has potential, he'll just have to learn the hard way. If he ever reads this blog, I want him to know that I love him very much and always will. Even if he doesn't read, he knows. That's my brother! BURL is what they call him.