Does the name say a lot?

So today I met a lady named Dionn. She was one of my patients and given the one thing we have in common...Dionn(e)...we connected today. She was so warm and welcoming just like my mama. She had confidence and was not ashamed of her condition, as she is battling an extreme case of scoliosis. Her vibe was as fierce as they come! In the little time I spoke with her, I knew that this woman holds some of the same qualities as the Dionne in my life does. So, I pose this question to you....Do you believe that you become what you are named? When you were named, was that a head start to becoming the person that you are today? I hear people say that there is some truth to that all the time, but I never gave it much thought...until I met Dionn. Now I believe it!

Wait a damn minute...YES I CAN!

Ok, so maybe I make things bigger than they really are sometimes. I worry too damn much and I hate that, but that’s the reality jumping around in my mind. This morning, I was on fire! I couldn’t understand for the life of me why I was being “dumbed down” after having put forth so much effort to complete this project. And I still don’t. But...what I do understand is that everybody operates differently. I do it my way and you do it yours...right? There is no right or wrong...it’s just different. Therefore, when I get my ass chewed out for something I know I did my best to accomplish with diminutive help ...so fucking what!?! Because I did my best! And it’s crazy because my mama gave me a little “pep talk” yesterday when I predicted this whole series of events and I heard what she was saying, I knew it was all true, but still somewhere back in the worrisome pits of my brain, I couldn’t allow myself to feel it. At least not until this afternoon after the job was redone. Not just my way, but the way he (my boss) wanted it to be done. He expressed to me that he’s only hard on his staff because he knows we CAN do it. He saw how stressed I was today and didn’t say one word about him scolding me until I completed my task. Once we jumped that hurdle, he thanked me for putting up with his shit. He didn’t apologize, but he did congratulate me on a job well done and I respect him for that. “That’s my girl” is what he said and told me “good job”. At that point, everything he’d said to me prior to that moment went straight out the door because I felt appreciated for once and that is all I wanted. So at the end of the day, yes my job is very stressful! But...at the end of the next, it’s not worth quitting because...well... what is? And it’s not worth my tears! I’ve learned not to take things so personal with him because that’s just his way of working. So, with that said, please disregard that little blog entitled “I can’t do this” because today proved that yes, I CAN!!! HOLLA!

I can't do this!

WTF?!?!?! I try not to complain...I do! I don't know what the hell is going on with me, but I feel like I cannot do this any longer. My boss is too fucking blunt and demanding. I understand that I have a job to do as everyone does. I do my job and in my opinion, I do it well. I just can't fathom being disrespectful to someone when you know they've worked hard on a project. I busted my ass for this shit and what do I get? A slap in the fucking face. To add fuel to the fire, bitches around here don't want to be of any assistance and that really pisses me off! I'd rather ask a million and one questions and do something right as opposed to just trying to figure it out myself and it be a mess. I mean, come on! I'm trying. I'm about ready to walk up out of this place, never look back, and not think twice about it. Seriously!

First off, I have to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREAT GRANDMA!!!! I love you!

So, I went to see my family this past weekend and it felt so good to be there! (as always) I didn't really do too much, but just being in the presence of family is all I needed. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to see my Grandma as she is still in Louisiana, but I did have a brief telephone conversation with her. I drove to Galveston for the first time since hurricane Ike hit. I knew the island was terribly damaged, but it didn't really hit me until I saw it with my own two eyes. I don't' know that G-Town will ever be the same. My prayers go out to all the families drastically effected by Ike.

Came back to Dallas Sunday evening along with my two crazy cousins. (Tammy and Keyerra) I'm so elated to have company! We've been having fun together cracking jokes, playing dominoes, and just hanging out. I look forward to going home after work now that I know I won't be unaccompanied and sitting around looking crazy.

Ok, so I want to know what happened with Danity Kane. From what I've been reading, the group split. Well allegedly, Aubrey and D-Woods are no longer members, but Dawn, Audrea, and Shannon are. WTF!! I actually liked this group. I hope they are able to settle their differences and reunite for the sake of their fans. I know it's probably hard having a group consisting of 5 females with 5 different personalities, but they seemed to have been getting along so well. I guess it's a different story behind the scenes. I hope Day 26 don't go down this same road because they're an excellent group with an immense amount of talent! Anyway, good luck to them all. I'm sure that which ever one of life's roads they decide to roll down, they'll be just fine. Just dream big and fly high!

That's my O!

I haven't talked much about my boyfriend O on this blog but that doesn't mean he isn't heavily on my mind. When I moved to Dallas, I didn't think our relationship would last and even still, I'm not sure if it will. Nothing is guaranteed, right? Nothing except for change and death. Anyway, one thing that I can say about O is that he is very supportive of me. He treats me with the utmost respect, he's not too jealous, and most importantly, he understands me. Now when I first met O, I didn't think there would be a relationship at all. We were introduced by mutual friends and he wanted to know who "the girl in the green car" was. I didn't really pay him much attention because, frankly, I thought he was ugly. He wasn't someone that I automatically became attracted to upon meeting. My best friend was like, "somebody likes you". I was like, "I don't have time for this. Who is it?" So she told me it was O and immediately I said, "uh, are you serious? He is not cute!'. But, I still ended up hooking up with him anyway. He was real cool. I felt comfortable around him and he was a genuinely nice guy. We ended up having long phone conversations and lunch dates. (We worked at the same hospital) Eventually, I didn't care too much about his looks. As a matter of a fact, I then perceived him as a very handsome guy. To this day, my mom says he looks like he's from Africa, but I don't care, he's sexy to me! One day she told him, "Shut your African looking ass up!" Ha Ha! I fell out laughing. That shit was funny. Anyhoo, O and I have come a long way. We've been dating for over 3 years and we're still going strong. I just hope and pray that the future will bring us closer together (physically) because I'm not feeling the distance between us, yet the love I have for him is too strong to let it tear us apart. I love you O!

It's Not Fair!

There are several stories in the media about the police and how often they use their taser "stun" guns. In many of these cases, the incapacitant weapon is unnecessarily used and as a result, the individual being tasered dies. After learning of how many deaths have been caused by this, I find it very disturbing that law enforcement officers are even still allowed to use the conductive energy device. Now, I completely understand that we have some crazy people in this world, I really do. But, at the same time, I feel as though nobody deserves to be killed, no matter how crazy they are or how terrible the crime committed may be. This is absolutely ridiculous and I am very heated about the issue at hand. On top of that, these police officer's are not receiving the proper consequence in return for what they've done. It pisses me off when people take advantage of the authority they have and try to use it to justify their actions. Why aren't these series of events being reported in the mainstream media? This is definitely something that needs to be adressed so we as a people can stand up and do something about it. I don't want to know who Mariah Carey married, how much money 50 Cent makes, or who is wearing what on the red carpet! In my opinion, those things have no importance, what-so-ever. Not when we have more serious issues to direct our attention to.