Wait a damn minute...YES I CAN!

Ok, so maybe I make things bigger than they really are sometimes. I worry too damn much and I hate that, but that’s the reality jumping around in my mind. This morning, I was on fire! I couldn’t understand for the life of me why I was being “dumbed down” after having put forth so much effort to complete this project. And I still don’t. But...what I do understand is that everybody operates differently. I do it my way and you do it yours...right? There is no right or wrong...it’s just different. Therefore, when I get my ass chewed out for something I know I did my best to accomplish with diminutive help ...so fucking what!?! Because I did my best! And it’s crazy because my mama gave me a little “pep talk” yesterday when I predicted this whole series of events and I heard what she was saying, I knew it was all true, but still somewhere back in the worrisome pits of my brain, I couldn’t allow myself to feel it. At least not until this afternoon after the job was redone. Not just my way, but the way he (my boss) wanted it to be done. He expressed to me that he’s only hard on his staff because he knows we CAN do it. He saw how stressed I was today and didn’t say one word about him scolding me until I completed my task. Once we jumped that hurdle, he thanked me for putting up with his shit. He didn’t apologize, but he did congratulate me on a job well done and I respect him for that. “That’s my girl” is what he said and told me “good job”. At that point, everything he’d said to me prior to that moment went straight out the door because I felt appreciated for once and that is all I wanted. So at the end of the day, yes my job is very stressful! But...at the end of the next, it’s not worth quitting because...well... what is? And it’s not worth my tears! I’ve learned not to take things so personal with him because that’s just his way of working. So, with that said, please disregard that little blog entitled “I can’t do this” because today proved that yes, I CAN!!! HOLLA!