Goodbye...

I was no longer happy. I believe in happiness and I also believe happiness is a choice. If you choose to be happy, you will be. It’s just that simple. I love O and care for him still, but right now I feel as though we are on two different pages in life. He’s not a bad person by far which is why it was so hard for me to say goodbye. I didn’t want the relationship to end this way, but I felt unappreciated. My love for him was taken for granted and if it wasn’t, he had a bizarre way of showing his love. Although I’m hurting inside, at the same time I feel a sense of relief. Only because I knew things hadn’t been right in a while. I thought maybe we were just “going through something” and things would get better, but I was wrong. Our relationship started to fall apart and I watched it happen day by day. It got to a point where phone conversations were very vague. No conversation lasted longer than 5 minutes. We used to talk for hours and have a good time. We used to do everything together. Then whenever I came back home, he’d choose to do everything under the sun but spend time with me. When things change drastically like that, it doesn’t go unnoticed. So, after having several talks about where our relationship was going and he reassured me that he really did want to be with me and try to make things work, I figured I’d give it a chance. Well, his actions didn’t back his words up at all and yesterday I just felt tired. I felt like I was in a relationship by myself. I called him and told him we needed to talk. I said “I think we both know things haven’t been right between us. I don’t know if it’s the distance, somebody else, or what it is, but I’m not happy. This is extremely hard for me, but my heart tells me that I can’t do this any longer. I’m not sure how you feel about what’s going on right now because you never express your feelings to me. I’m always left in the dark, so now I have to do what’s best for the both of us because clearly neither of us are happy. And if that’s the case, why should we have to endure this any longer? I don’t hate you, I think you are a great person, and I’m blessed to have been a part of your life. But, it’s time for us both to move on.”

So there you have it. I’ve chosen to focus on my life and LIVE life happily instead of being trapped in a dead end relationship. I wish O all the best in his life and maybe one day we’ll cross each other’s path again. But for now....I’m just going to do me. Yeah, I think that’s best.